天才恭班第一集

1979年台北的高中聯考,我考上了和鄰居姐姐一樣的女校,從小就很崇拜她,所以特別開心。尤其從小成績不好,能考上第三志願,簡直是上帝賜予的奇蹟。

當時一般大眾有個刻板印象,就是小綠綠(第一志願的學生)都是書呆子,很難和美麗劃上等號;就算是塊美玉,也還在礦石階段,市場價值普通。

小白(第二志願)總想追過小綠綠,又羨慕小黃的精彩人生,所以拉扯之中,不小心就精神分裂。

小黃(第三志願,又稱黃衫客)一般公認是顏值最高,成績雖不如小綠綠和小白,但眾人也會給她們很好的藉口,美女容易被分心啊,明白嗎?她們就像得天獨厚的波斯貓,有腦袋,有顏值,所以不屑和小綠緑在成績上拼個你死我活,所以能當上小黃,進入這個人美,校園風景又美的學校,呵呵,可是我的第一志願啊!

不過,世事總有不如人願之處,鄰居姐姐説很不幸的,我們這屆,來了一個新校長,超級恐佈,聽她説著,頓時腦海出現白雪公主後母的様子,倒底怎麼恐佈法呢?

依據鄰居姐姐的説法,首先這新校長認為現在的制服美的不像樣,所以原本讓人幸福感十足的乳黃色,要變成讓人肅然起敬的正黃色,原本超有型的寬帶黑書包,要變成像書呆子的窄帶,當然這對即將畢業的鄰居姐姐影響不大,她安慰我:「不用擔心,我的送給你吧!」

我不明白這倒底是什麼意思,為什麼我應該擔心,她形容的新校長,好像是只在故事書中見過的巫婆或後母,我倒是很期待著故事書中的人物,可以活生生的展現出來,因為沒見識過真人版。

她說這校長還會常常用語言暴力,聽說不少學姐,甚至老師都被她罵哭過,例如台灣當時所有高中規定,女生頭髮一律要齊耳下一公分,以前的校長不會太計較多那一,兩公分,但新校長常常站在校門口,手插著腰,如果看到學生頭髮太長,她會説:「你家死人啦!!!」她嗓門又大,全世界都聽到[Cry]

過去一年一次的校慶園遊會,是各男校爭先恐後要來朝聖的機會,像是很多建中,附中,成功的男生都會來參加,一些美麗的故事也代代流傳著。

之前的校長認為這挺自然的,年輕人在學校交流,總比在外面好,所以不特別阻擋;而新校長第一年來,看到這景象,馬上令人把門關了,還把那些男生趕走,織女牛郎被拆散的景象,就這麼活生生,血淋淋的呈現。

除此之外,她也把校園很多老樹給砍了,理由是不安全,怕有色狼躱在樹叢𥚃。

最重要的是,她還做了一個過去沒人敢嚐試過的創舉,就是未來進樂隊班,必須是每班的前三名。

於是,歷史上唯一的天才恭班就這麼誕生了!

“天才恭班第一集” 有 49 則留言.

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